


part of your life

by pearltiare



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, CHU2 - Freeform, Confessions, F/F, Fluff, Masking, PAREO - Freeform, Post canon, RAISE A SUILEN - Freeform, all lowercase, but not too far past canon, implied/referenced parechu, just like a month or two, layer - Freeform, light angst at the beginning, lock - Freeform, rokka's pov, roselia (mentioned), spaces between puncuation, this is a comfort fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:14:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25724950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearltiare/pseuds/pearltiare
Summary: rokka asahi doesn't think she'll find love soon, romantic love anyways. she's joined raise a suilen only five months ago and she's struggling internally. feelings of admiration, confusion, stress, and beyond. she can't be in love, that isn't possible. so why does she want to become part of masuki's life so desperately ?
Relationships: Asahi Rokka/Satou Masuki
Comments: 6
Kudos: 32





	part of your life

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys, this is definitely a comfort fic since i'm going through a break up right now, and writing about happy relationships makes me happy <3 ;;w;;

rokka asahi joined raise a suilen only about two months ago. she had been so desperate to become part of a band for months and months, so she was over the moon to pass chu2's audition. she had never felt this particular sense of _belonging._

sure, she felt welcome when she was with the members of poppin' party, but that could only go so far, since that wasn't her band. countless times, she had messaged kasumi saying how badly she wanted to be in a band. she wanted that strong bond, sense of belonging, accomplishment of making music, etc. but no matter how far or how wide she searched, she couldn't find anyone. sure, she found bands, but they were either not looking for members, or their music didn't resonate with her. the girl felt so hopeless, she felt like giving up. she didn't know if she would ever feel those joyous emotions she saw through other bands, but she held on. as kasumi said,

"if you stop searching, you won't find what you're looking for !"

she was right, and although it was frustrating and sometimes seemed pointless, rokka knew she had to keep looking. the band she wished so hard for wouldn't just magically find her. that's when she stumbled upon raise a suilen. tae had been their temporary guitarist, and rokka saw her live with the rest of poppin' party. she almost instantly felt a click, she felt like this was her calling, and she wasn't just gonna let it go to voicemail. after the cultural festival, she was scouted by chu2, much to her surprise. she wanted to be part of raise a suilen, sure, but she didn't think she'd _actually_ be scouted to be the band's guitarist. it didn't help that she was usually busy working shifts at her family's bath house, but somehow, she made it work. she wasn't just going to let this opportunity go to waste.

after rokka had passed chu2's audition, she was nearly shocked. she had failed the first time, and she came in the second time expecting the same result. but after the shock wore off, she was overjoyed. she had to hold herself back from screaming out of excitement, from dancing all around the studio and giving all of her new band mates almost suffocating bear hugs. from day one of band practice, the guitarist felt like she was meant to be there. so this was that feeling she had longed for, for all of those months. she finally had it. with every song, she felt more welcome, with every performance, she felt more like she was becoming part of the group. after the incident concerning pareo, the members of raise a suilen slowly but surely began to form closer bonds. the bang dream competition was an unfortunate loss to roselia, but the girls, chu2 especially had learned to not let them get them down.

she treasured all the members of raise a suilen dearly. rei was a wonderful mentor, but she was also incredibly funny when she wanted to be. chiyu came off a bit aggressive sometimes, but the passion for music and love for her band mates was definitely there. pareo was a bit complicated to read truly, but that didn't mean she wasn't a kind and warm person. she just took a little, no, quite a bit longer to really understand. masuki... masuki. she seemed quite intimidating when rokka, or anyone really, first met her. she seemed almost like a delinquent since she dressed very similar to the part, had a motorcycle called death knight, was a drummer nicknamed 'mad dog'. that just screams intimidating, at least in rokka's mind. but she had come to find that masuki wasn't a delinquent at all, she was quite the softie. she had an edgy image, and she liked some things many other girls would be scared of, but she was kind, she was warm, she was loving towards her friends, especially those who were part of raise a suilen. she loved baking, she loved reading magical girl manga and watching cartoons. she was the exact opposite internally as she was externally.

it was a rainy sunday morning, but chu2 insisted on rehearsal as it wasn't heavy rain. pareo didn't mind so much since she pretty much lived at chu2's part time, but the other girls, especially rei weren't really happy about this. rei complained in the group chat that she had actually done her hair today, and she didn't want to risk it getting wet. the other members insisted it would be fine as long as she had an umbrella, but rei wasn't easily convinced, so chu2 ended up just calling a cab for her. masuki picked rokka up as per usual, but had to drive a little slower as the streets were a bit slippery. rokka didn't mind this at all, she had grown used to the speed of death knight, but that didn't mean she was a huge fan of it. oh well, it meant she got to be close to the drummer, so she didn't mind. _wait, what the hell was she thinking ?!_ rokka tried to keep her eyes on the road, but now that this thought was in her head, she couldn't get it out to save her life.

masuki was a close friend to rokka, a dear friend. they had a few shopping trips together, they had stayed the night at each others' houses more often than they could count. but it was only platonic, right ? it wasn't something that rokka had given much thought to, but now she definitely was doing that. she supposed it made sense, though, because for some reason her face always got so warm whenever she was near the girl. also because she stayed up late so many times just so she could talk to masuki a little longer, even if it were a school night. rokka would always see masuki's name and her face _everywhere._ she would mishear people talking quite often, and think she heard her name, but she didn't. she would see any stranger with short blonde hair and immediately get excited, only to find out that this wasn't her band mate. of course, it was all confusing, it was nerve-wracking, but rokka suppressed those feelings for so long that it was like a smack in the face when she actually realized.

when she realized that she had feelings for masuki.

this wasn't a huge shock to her, as the girl had known for quite a while that she liked girls, and girls only. sure, she had thought about romance a time or two. everyone does, but she wasn't the hopeless romantic type per se. while she thought it would be nice to have a partner, the guitarist wasn't going to stop everything to look for said partner. she didn't really think she'd be finding love in high school either, she figured it would come during college or late adulthood. rokka certainly wasn't ready to fall for someone, and she didn't expect it to be masuki. but at the same time, she didn't really mind it being masuki either. after all, she was such a dear friend, so she was sure that even if the girl rejected her feelings, they would still have a close bond. but then there was the chance that they wouldn't. if this were the outcome, it could result in the end of raise a suilen. or at least raise a suilen as the public knew it. they'd have to find a new drummer, a new guitarist, or both. she certainly didn't want that to happen, so she decided that she would keep her mouth shut for now. even if it was awkward, even if it was stressful, it was for the greater good.

"we're here."

that snapped rokka out of her thoughts. she climbed off the bike and set her helmet down on the seat. masuki got her drumsticks out of her bag and looked at rokka, as if she was waiting for her to say she was ready to head inside. the rain had stopped for the most part, and it was now only a light drizzle. they headed inside, while the guitarist kept her head down looking at her feet most of the way. when they stepped inside the elevator to head up to the studio, masuki nudged the girl's shoulder gently with her elbow and asked,

"hey, you okay ? got somethin' on your mind ?"

rokka squealed a little at the sudden touch, but rapidly nodded her head and answered,

"y-yes ! yes, i'm fine, i've just got exams coming up at school, aha..."

she gave a nervous laugh and masuki just cocked her head to the side. she raised an eyebrow, and she looked like she didn't fully believe the girl next to her, but she didn't bother to press any further.

"y'know, if ya needed help studying, ya could've just called me."

rokka shook her head and began twiddling her thumbs. exam season had already passed and she did just fine on them, so she didn't need any help from masuki. she hoped that this lie would pass since they didn't go to the same school, but it seemed as if masuki was almost, just barely seeing through it. there was a 'ding' when the elevator stopped, and rokka let out a sigh of relief. she wouldn't have to talk for a while, just play her guitar with the band as she was instructed to. of course, she couldn't stop herself from thinking about the situation at hand, and as nerve-wracking as that was by itself, at least she didn't have to deal with it immediately.

the two stepped into the studio, greeted by pareo with some snacks and water so that they wouldn't be practicing on an empty stomach. rei was in the corner doing warm ups on her bass, chu2 was printing out sheet music for their new song that she had been raving in the group chat about the night before. pareo was just standing by the tray with her classic warm smile. after eating and drinking a good amount, pareo, rokka and masuki went to go warm up and make small talk before the actual practice started. it only took about ten minutes, which was shorter than usual for them to get started after warm ups, so they knew that chu2 must have been _really_ serious about this new song of theirs. several times, chu2 had the members redo, gave harsh but constructive criticism, and made small tweaks so that the song would fit raise a suilen's members better. it took about two hours for the band to finally get the hang of it, but they were just glad that they eventually did. now, all they had to do was perfect the song and play it well to chu2's standards. if a song didn't meet chu2's approval, she wouldn't let it be performed. even if they had practiced for weeks on end, often times she would end up scrapping the song and writing a new one in its place, then chu2 would sit back and let the cycle repeat.

♡

after around four hours of practice, chu2 announced that the girls were dismissed. pareo, of course, stayed behind, which prompted kissy noises from masuki as she was walking out of the studio by rokka's side. this caused pareo to visibly blush, which masuki just internally laughed at. rokka, on the other hand, was considering just taking a leap of faith and asking masuki straight up if she was attracted to girls. it was risky, but she remembered something tae had told her a while ago,

"if you don't ask, the answer if always going to be no."

so as they stepped into the elevator, the shorter girl cleared her throat and asked, avoiding direct eye contact.

"u-um.. may i.. may i ask you something ?"

she managed to get that out in a more quiet tone than she usually spoke in, but masuki thankfully heard her and leaned up against the elevator wall, putting her hands in her pockets.

"yeah, you can ask me whatever !"

masuki replied, she had a bit of a reassuring smile on her face which helped rokka a lot in terms of confidence and actually saying what she was trying to say.

"u-um, um, um.. well.."

_oh god dammit rokka, just spit it out already, what are you so afraid of ?_

she looked down and held on tightly to her skirt, half yelling,

"do you like girls ?"

rokka realized that that could be taken as a pretty vague question, so she continued in her normal speaking tone this time,

"i mean like.. romantically.."

masuki just laughed for a second, much to the other girl's confusion. she stood up straight with her hands still in her pockets.

"well, yeah, i thought that was obvious. i mean, i didn't think anyone who sees me in public or knows me would take a look at me and be like, 'oh yeah, she's totally into guys', y'know ? why do ya ask ?"

rokka just shook her head and hoped that the taller girl wouldn't see the slight blush spreading across her cheeks.

"o-oh, no reason ! really, no reason, i was just curious is all, aha !"

rokka again laughed nervously, and as soon as she heard that 'ding' come from the elevator, she bolted out of the building. masuki tried chasing after her, asking about her ride situation, but the other girl just yelled back that she would walk home. the rain had stopped and it was quite sunny outside now, and _hot._ the girl was definitely going to regret making the decision to walk home, especially since her home was so far away from the studio, but it would save her the embarrassment, so she didn't mind. rokka didn't want her tongue to slip and for her to end up saying something flat out embarrassing, even if she knew how laid back masuki was. she didn't want to risk saying something that would catch her crush off-guard, so she would avoid her a bit. she wanted to tell her, she really did. she had never been a person to lie, or a person to hide her feelings for long. but again, raise a suilen was at risk. she knew that masuki liked girls now, and that brought some relief to rokka, but it wasn't nearly enough to calm her down completely. she was already part of masuki's life, sure. she was part of the lives of chu2, pareo, and rei as well. but that's because they were band mates. the girl wanted to be a bigger, more significant part of masuki's life. she wanted to be at the forefront, center stage. that was most likely unrealistic, because even though rokka now knew that the drummer was attracted to girls, it meant that she could be interested in _any_ girl, and it wasn't right to assume that that girl was her. hell, masuki might not even be interested in that right now.

rokka got her door up after a few minutes of struggling with it, and fell back onto her bed with a heavy sigh. she was sweaty and near exhausted since she had taken over an hour of a walk in the hot weather, but she stayed there for a few moments collecting herself before she grabbed a towel, turned the water on lukewarm (since it was already hot enough outside), and she hopped in the shower. the girl stayed in there a bit longer than usual, but she eventually got out and changed into lounge wear. she walked into her bedroom, sat down on her bed, turned her tv on, and began watching one of her favorite horror movies. she knew that it may be considered a little weird to find comfort in horror of all genres, but you can't control what brings you happiness, can you ?

♡

the next three weeks were a blur to rokka. she practiced as always, she did her school work a bit slower than normal, but it wasn't like she was falling behind. she was unintentionally avoiding masuki due to her feelings, which she couldn't be bothered to actually confess to the blonde. she still kept up small talk, but the girl couldn't handle any more communication than that. surely she would burst due to being embarrassed, flustered, or both. rokka would still watch masuki while she was drumming during practice, and she quickly turned her head away with a blush every time she noticed. she had never really noticed how toned masuki's arms were, she supposed it may be because of that jacket she always wore, but now that it was summer and she was going without the jacket, it was hard to _not_ notice. she hadn't really noticed how messy the girl's hair got while she was practicing. she did so much head banging and drumming required so much movement that it did make sense, but it was strange to rokka how despite how messed up masuki's hair got, she still looked absolutely and undoubtedly breathtaking. she hadn't noticed either how intensely focused masuki was when drumming. gosh, that sounded dumb, of course playing music requires a good amount of focus. but this was different. rokka noticed that there was real passion, almost a blame burning in her eyes whenever she was playing. she seemed as if she was born to play for raise a suilen almost, she made it seem so incredibly _effortless._ rokka was told she had a similar effect with her guitar, but she never really took that seriously. she was never confident in her guitar skills, she always just thought of herself as any other musician.

she packed up at the studio, chu2 and pareo had already left practice to go to get some junk food at a local gas station. rei left early due to family issues or something along those lines. masuki had already packed up her drum set, so she was just waiting for rokka to be done. rokka gave her a small smile to signal to the girl that she was ready to go. but before she could walk out the door, she felt a tug on her sleeve. masuki sat down on one of the chairs in the studio and patted the chair next to her. rokka hesitated, but she sat down and the taller girl turned her knees to face her. she spoke up, concern in her tone,

"hey, lock, i know ya may not wanna talk about it, but you've been acting way strange lately. you're barely talkin' to me, and i'm getting a lil' worried, to be honest. i mean, i know you were stressed due to exams, but i talked to ako about that since ya both go to the same school. she said that exam season was long gone, so i dunno, i just wanted to ask ya about it. ya know if you wanna talk or if i slip up and do somethin' that doesn't sit right with ya, you can tell me, right ?"

rokka gulped and nodded slowly, grabbing at her skirt. she definitely didn't expect this, but she wasn't just going to lie to the girl she had feelings for. she was above that, and even if it cost her her energy and her pride, she'd do it for masuki. she began speaking, slowly, but went on,

"i... i'm sorry, masuki. you shouldn't have to worry like that. it's hard to really process, this is the first time i've gone through something like this, so i don't really know how i'm supposed to act or handle it.. but i think i may be in love with you,"

she took a deep breath in and continued, more confident this time. rokka had already begun, there was no going back now.

"i didn't mean to shut you out at all or seem distant, i thought it was for the greater good, but i didn't consider your feelings, and i'm sorry for that.. i really, really, do like you, though, and it's fine if you don't return my feelings. i'm sure raise a suilen will be just fine either way... but at the same time, i can't shut these feelings off. i've tried, and it doesn't work... so i've accepted it. i like you, i might even love you, masuki. i like how... how passionate you are about the band, how your face lights up when you see a cute animal... how you always seem so cool and calm, but you can be so bright and excited when you want to be... i mean.. i could go on, but i don't think you'd want that, aha.."

masuki took a moment, looking down at the floor, and rokka's heart was pretty much pounding out of her chest. her palms were sweating, numerous thoughts were going through her mind as quickly as they came. she was so beyond anxious for the drummer's answer, but in a moment, masuki just put her hand on top of rokka's. she gave a warm, sincere smile to her and replied in a soft tone,

"oh, rokka, you're so oblivious. i like you too, and i might as well love you. i thought that much was obvious."

she chuckled a bit, then more when she saw the girl's face go beet red. but nonetheless, they intertwined their fingers, and rokka asked almost in a whisper,

"masking, m-may i... may i k-kiss you ?"

this caught the blonde off guard at first, but she just smiled and wrapped her free arm around rokka's waist and leant down to give her a short but sweet kiss. she saw rokka pout a little, and cocked her head.

"that was too short."

masuki just raised an eyebrow and asked,

"huh ? i didn't know miss lock was so needy, oh well, ya learn something new every day."

"masuki !!"

she laughed and cupped both of rokka's cheeks, gently lifting her head up and kissed her again, longer and a little deeper this time. when they broke apart, rokka insisted on keeping masuki in her arms, her chin tucked into her neck. masuki looked at the time, and realized it was getting close to rokka's curfew, so as much as she didn't want to, she pulled away from the smaller girl and got up. she took her hand and guided her outside to death knight. rokka took the helmet and paused for a second just before putting it on and asked,

"wait, are we dating now ?"

masuki just rolled her eyes and looked at her with a grin as if she was saying 'duh'. she nodded and swung one leg over the bike, then gestured for rokka to hop on. she felt her arms around her waist, much tighter than normal this time. from now on, rokka would be a much bigger fan of motorcycle rides with her new girlfriend, and she would be the most happy she had ever been knowing that she was now most definitely a bigger part of masuki's life.


End file.
